Home again

I'm home from the great white north. And there was snow. Snow flurries and plenty of snow already on the ground. Deep enough that Aussie couldn't walk in it because her legs are too short. So she jumped through it like a rabbit. She looked hilarious but was obviously quite happy and having an excellent time.

Time with my family was good. Low key. Relaxing. Lots of laughter and catching up. We had a house full on Christmas Eve (our traditional night to gather and celebrate and open gifts). I got sleep (as much as possible...but wow insomnia sucks). But I came to the scary realization that all my freakish habits and behaviors are probably inherited. I'm so much like my mom's side of the family it's disturbing. I could practically predict what people were going to do because I would do it if I were them. I am obviously my mother's daughter, and there is no doubt that we are all related (not that there ever was, but it was made quite obvious to me this time that we are all so much alike).

And the amount of food was insane. So much food, and there are still leftovers. I came home with some great recipes, however, that I'm looking forward to making. A few of my friends are having open houses over the next few weeks, so I have ample opportunities to make banana cake or grape salad.

I did take some pictures, and eventually they'll be up on Flickr. Which will be easier to accomplish once I have home internet again [still none because UPS is closed on Monday, the 31st, so I can't get the modem until Jan. 2nd...cranky!].

In the meantime, I'll be furiously housecleaning and preparing for the New Year and company in mid-January during the ALA Midwinter Meeting. And don't forget the New Year's Day Rules!! My aunt tried to send me home with a can of black eyed peas and a can of green beans. I had to swear on the graves of several relatives that I already had some at home before she would let it go. I triple checked before I left because I knew this conversation would happen (again, able to predict behavior because I just know). Instead, she's sending them to my cousin in Florida. And the bizarre tradition of mailing canned goods continues...

So Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!

Well, as luck would have it, I still do not have home internet and the holiday break is upon us. My department at the library will be closed until January 2nd, which means that unless I schlep myself and my laptop to a coffee shop with free wireless, I will be completely without email for a bit (blessing? or curse? I can't decide...). My home DSL is scheduled to be activated on Dec. 27th, but I won't be holding my breath.

Not that it matters, as I'm headed north (technically to the north-west) for a few days. North to a small town where my cell phone reception is spotty, and the chances of wireless internet access is even spottier. But I'll be with family, and taking a much needed break for a bit. There will be lots of food, the dog will be spoiled rotten (even more so) by everyone who sneaks her extra dog biscuits and bits of apple (Grandmother, I'm talking about you!) and lets her up on the couch, there will be snow (yay!), and lots of time to talk and catch up. I haven't seen my family for year, so I'm really looking forward to it.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! If you're traveling, be safe.

Now back to attempting to look like I'm doing work on the day before a week and a half holiday break!

Falling UP a set of stairs

A "how-to"

1. Make sure said stairs have a lip at the front edge

2. Make sure you are in a hurry

3. Make sure you are carrying an armload of stuff (such as back volumes of journals or a bunch of gifts/packages/bags)

4. As you are going up the stairs, catch the tip of the toe of your shoe on the front lip of the stair

5. Fall forward ("up" the stairs), bashing your knee(s) into the stairs in the process

6. Two options: partial fall (6a) or full-on fall (6b)

6a. Don't fully go down, just bash one knee, but manage to stop "falling up" by catching yourself, getting your other foot under you and onto the next step, and continuing up the stairs in a kind of half-run until you regain control

6b. Fully fall forward, bashing BOTH knees, spilling said armload of stuff all over the stairs and having to use your hands to stop your forward fall and to prevent your face from hitting the stairs. Compose yourself briefly by sitting on the stairs, then gather belongings and continue on, limping slightly.

You have now successfully fallen up a set of stairs.

For full effect, make sure to do this in front of a large number of people, preferably frantic and stressed out students during final exam time, or, alternately, frantic and stressed out shoppers with toddlers in tow the weekend before the Christmas holidays.

It's time to go home...

The internets are trying to tell me so.

I'm trying to find the webpage for a journal. I link to one of the many associations "official" page from a publisher site and this is what I get:

You have reached the end of the internet, please go back.

The end of the internet...yup, time to go home.

Death of the elevators

Well, the game of elevator roulette is no more. They are dead. ALL THREE elevators at this end of the library are dead. Apparently there was a power surge that toasted the control panels last week. And we have no idea when they will be fixed, but probably not until after the new year.

They opened several stairways down to the staff only area of the ground floor (basement), but the stairs in the library are confusing in general. I'm still figuring out which stairway will dump me where depending on the floor I'm exiting on. I've now taken the both newly opened stairways down (we have to show ID to a security person to keep out the riff-raff) and have ended up in very different places. I got so turned around the first time I practically needed to ask for directions and there are only two options, left or right! It's an adventure, really.

But this still means having to leave plenty of extra time to navigate the detours when heading to the bathrooms.

UPDATE (1:45 PM): There's a big sign on the elevator doors saying they are out of order and instructing people to use the elevators at the other end of the building.

I just watched a patron walk up to the elevator, stand directly in front of it, push the button, and then wait.
Me: Excuse me, these elevators are out of order. You need to use the ones at the other end of the building.
Patron: Oh.
Me: Sorry for the inconvenience.
Patron: Oh! There's a sign! I didn't see that. [was staring at the closed doors with the sign on them expectantly not 5 seconds ago]

Um...yeah. Just proves that we can post as many signs as we want, but we can't make them read them.

My missing patience revisited

[Note: I still don't have home internet, so I'm writing this sitting in a Starbucks. Coffee=good. Lack of home internet=bad. But I'm making do.]

There's been some confusion about my previous blog post regarding my missing patience. Some people have thought it's about the individual I had the argument with (whether they told me directly of not). It's not. Really. What the argument did for me was illustrate in perfect clarity a pattern of behavior I've practiced my whole life in personal relationships of all kinds. I can give you examples all the way back to 4th grade, probably earlier if I think about it. A couple of examples from college in particular stand out. My last relationship is also a nice strong example. And it's not healthy behavior.

I want people to be happy. Unfortunately, for me this typically means I spend a large amount of time trying to make sure of that. I've pussyfooted around issues so people don't get upset. I've spent time trying to figure out how to say things so I don't upset people. Lots and lots of time. Strategizing if you will. And then worrying about it even after the fact.

Usually I do this at the expense of my own happiness. I don't say things or tell people how I really feel because I want them to be happy, even when it makes me miserable to keep my mouth shut. Instead, I put everyone else first, respecting how they feel before I respect my own feelings.

I spend all this time working at not upsetting people, listening to people b*tch about each other behind their backs, and I try to keep the peace between them all. I don't raise the issues I have in situations, rather I just try and let them go, no matter how much they bother me. I don't complain when I'm put in the middle of things, even though I hate it (and it happens more often than I care to admit). I've found myself part of things I think are mean (often aimed at others), and then I spend more time trying to get out of it without upsetting the very people that put me there, much less the other person (or people) unknowingly involved. I spend time trying to smooth things over in (misguided?) attempts to prevent drama I can see coming a mile away. I don't say what I mean or tell people how I really feel so as to not create more drama. I don't stand up for myself, all because I'm working hard at to make sure everyone is happy. I swallow my feelings instead, keeping my mouth shut.

I did that with the friend I talked about, among countless others dating back to before puberty. I swore after my last relationship that I'd stop doing it. And the argument my friend and I had illustrated for me that a), I'm still doing it, and b), the complete futility of it all. That's what it was, an illustration. An illustration of how all this work and time I put in trying to make sure people are happy seems to always backfire on me. So this time I didn't back down, I stood up for myself and said exactly how I felt, without worrying about upsetting them. All because my patience this week has gone missing and things I have let go of in the past (or just swallowed in an attempt to keep the peace) I just couldn't seem to let go of this week.

Ultimately, I've lost patience with it completely, now that I've taken a good hard look at my own behaviors. I just can't do this, this putting everyone else before me. This spending time trying to prevent drama or keep people happy. I try to keep the peace, and I end up getting sh*t upon for it. I end up blindsided by people I thought were my friends. And while they b*tched at me and I listened and didn't say anything and tried to keep the peace, apparently that doesn't always work the other way around. And when I speak my mind I feel judged by the very same people. I end up getting blamed for things that I had nothing to do with, end up responsible for things that don't actually involve me, or end up in the middle of things because I didn't object. All so I could try and keep the peace and make sure everyone was happy.

Really what that post ended up being about is that my patience with my own patterns of behavior has gone missing. And I don't necessarily thing that's a bad thing. It may mean I lose a few friends as a result, but as I said in that post, if they are truly my friends they'll love me anyway and support me the way I've tried to support them and will continue to support them. Because I really do want people to be happy. But I just can't do it anymore at the expense of my time and my own happiness. I don't have to agree with people's choices, I can respect them, and if they make them happy, great. I'll support you as much as I can. I will support you if it's what you want, if it's what you believe will make you happy, whether I agree with it or not. Because it's not my life. My job as your friend is to support you in your life. But when it involves or impacts my life and my feelings I can't do that anymore. I have to respect myself first.

But if you see my patience regarding work situations, do please send it back my way. My tongue hurts from all the holes I've been biting in it during my attempts to not piss people off when it could (and should) be avoided.

AAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!

It doesn't end.
It.
just.
doesn't.
end.

I have now talked to four, count them, FOUR, different people at AT&T about canceling my DSL so I can make the switch to Verizon. I have now heard FOUR different versions of what is happening.

The short story, as of last night at 6pm, my DSL still wasn't fully canceled, only "suspended."

To recap: I called the end of November to cancel my DSL. This is what I was told: the order will be processed FULLY on Dec. 7th (last billing day). And they confirmed, when I asked three different times, that it would be canceled. There would no longer be DSL on my phone line at all. No signal at all. Period. Great, as that's what I want. They give me my confirmation number and the call ends.

So on Monday (12/10) or Tuesday (12/11), I check my account online to verify that everything is fine. AT&T Worldnet Internet Services no longer exists. In fact, if you look at my online account, it looks as if I've never had DSL service at all.

And then it goes horribly wrong. Yesterday I got a letter from Verizon telling me they still couldn't process my order. Confused, I call to find out what's up. Funny thing, on their end, from the technical side, AT&T actually hasn't shut off my DSL. The signal is still there on the line. Mind you, I don't have home internet access, haven't for a full week now, so I really don't understand what's going on. All my information says it's off. So I set it up for Verizon to call me back today (Friday, 12/14) and I call AT&T again to find out what's up.

I call AT&T, go through the menus to talk to a person in whatever department handles cancellations, but before I can even GET to a person, I get disconnected. Great.

I call AT&T back, go through the menus AGAIN, and this time actually get to a person. In billing. I explain the situation (at this point I'm still polite), and they tell me that according to their information, my account is suspended and it's up to the tech support people to actually fully cancel the signal. They've done their part in billing.

They transfer me to tech support.

The person I talk to in tech support has NO RECORD of an order to cancel my DSL in their system. On their end they don't see any evidence of my DSL being suspended, or any request to cancel my service. None. Nada. No evidence at all. WTF?!?! So I give them my confirmation number so they can find the order, which they do, and then they tell me that it's really the responsibility of the billing department. There's nothing for them to do in tech support. Uh huh. They offer to transfer me back to billing, so I can try again to find out what's going on.

During the transfer back to billing, I get disconnected. No sh*t.

So I call AT&T back yet again, go through the f*cking menus yet again, and get to a person. At this point I'm no longer polite, in fact, I'm downright rude. I demand to speak directly to a supervisor. I'm told a supervisor is not available, but they can help me. I tell them that no, I don't think you can, I want to speak to a manager. I explain my situation. This guy now tells me something different. Something I haven't heard before from any of the three people I've already talked to about this. Apparently my account was only suspended on Dec. 7th at 7:00AM EST (that date and time is very very important), and it takes 3 to 5 business days for it to be fully canceled. I tell him that this is the first time I've heard that. What I was told before is very very different. And that he needs to fix it now, because it's been over three business days. And in fact, Friday morning (12/14) at 7:01AM, is 5 business days. And if tech support has no f*cking record of any order at all, how exactly is this going to happen?! He has no answer or explanation for that one. Big surprise. He asks me to be polite, I tell him to go to hell, I've been polite, and yet this is the FOURTH phone call I've had to make to get the simple act of canceling my DSL completed and I've now been told four different stories, three of them from the same g-ddamn department, his department, billing. So I'm not going to be polite anymore and I really don't care (not to mention yesterday's post about my patience going missing).

I then confirm THREE TIMES that as of 7:01AM EST on 12/14 (today) my DSL should be fully canceled. He's obviously losing patience with me, and I tell him that I just want to be completely clear because obviously things have not been made clear in the other THREE phone calls I've made about this. I also want it on record, more than once, what I'm being told, so that if it doesn't happen I have ammunition to sue them. I demand to speak to a manager again, and am told that there isn't one available, but he can put in a request for one to call me back in 24 to 48 hours. I tell him to not waste his f*cking time, and hang up.

I'm convinced at this point that I should have just paid AT&T the over $200 early termination fee. Because it's taken no less than THREE phone calls on average to get anything done with them during the past year. For them to FIX things. No less than three phone calls for each separate issue. I shouldn't have to call more than once. I can confidently say at this point I will do anything in my power to avoid ever being an AT&T customer again. In any state. Ever. They are absolutely positively the WORST company I have ever dealt with. Frankly, I'd sooner go without a phone than sign up for service with them again.

And you know, I bet that if I had just not paid my DSL service bill my service would have been canceled immediately. No 3 to 5 business day bullsh*t I'd bet.

Oh where oh where has my patience gone...

Oh where oh where can it be?

Has anyone seen my patience lately? Anyone?

Normally I'm a very patient person. I can deal with bullsh*t for hours on end, sometimes weeks, without losing it. I roll with the punches and adapt. I can cut people an enormous amount of slack. This week, however, that is NOT the case. I have no patience. Things I might normally be able to just ignore are irritating me to no end this week. I can't be troubled to pussyfoot around and dress things up nicely so they don't upset people. I can't be troubled to just deal with things. I have no patience for anyone or anything. On more than one occasion this week I've thought about how nice it would be to be able to reach through the computer and smack some sense into people. I'm tired, I'm a bit on the cranky side, and frankly I really just don't care. I'm all for calling people out on the carpet for their bullsh*t, no matter if it upsets them or not. I'm going to speak my mind, consequences apparently be dammed.

I may have caused some damage to a friendship that was already a bit tenuous at best, but I wasn't going to let the person play revisionist history and heap guilt on me. So I called them out for their bullsh*t and put my foot down. If they can't take it, well, I'm done coddling them and playing nice. I refuse to be walked over any longer or waste my time trying not to upset them instead of being honest and telling it like it is. No patience for the pussyfooting around anymore. None.

Now, I realize that this is not necessarily a good thing in all situations. For some, like with the individual in question above, I think it's a good thing. It's not my problem if they can't handle blunt honesty from me at this point as trying to be nice about it was obviously a waste of my time. I'm not being mean (admittedly, they may disagree), nor do I want to be mean, but I'm not going to spend my time being patient and nice anymore. I have better things to do with my time. But I know that it's not necessarily appropriate in all situations, such as work.

Unfortunately, since my patience is currently missing, it's taking a lot of extra effort on my part to make sure I don't cross that line, which is partly why I'm so tired. On more than a few occasions this week I've had to rewrite entire emails several times to remove the snarkiness and so I didn't end up just sounding mean. Because I'm really not a mean person and I don't want to be mean. I also don't want to commit career suicide or piss people off when it can (or should) be avoided.

I still subscribe to the belief that each person has to live their own life, and it's not my place to tell them what that life should or should not be. I respect people's feelings and perspectives/opinions. To each their own. But I just don't have the patience anymore when it affects me and my life. I don't have the patience when it makes a friendship extra work and I spend time worrying about upsetting them and I don't say what I believe/feel because of it. I'm not going to let them get away with obvious bullsh*t.

My best friend congratulated me on growing a spine and standing up for myself and what I'm feeling. She reminded me that if they're truly my friend, they'll love me anyway and know that I wouldn't say anything just to hurt them or just to be mean. I'm honest because they need to know that their behavior is affecting others (including me), or that their behavior is inappropriate or harmful to themselves, and they should hear it from a friend who really does care about them as an individual and truly honestly just wants them to be happy. But I'm also not going to put up with their crap as it's just too much work anymore. I don't have the patience for it.

Still, if you see my patience, please send it back this way. And soon. I promise, I've learned when it's appropriate to use that patience (work), and when to grow that spine.

Sparse posting for the next week

So, if you didn't notice, I didn't post over the weekend. And you'll probably see sparse posting from me for the next week.

See, the switch from AT&T to Verizon is underway. But the service change means I'm without home internet access for a bit. I had to turn my access off through AT&T before the switch to Verizon could happen. That happened this past Friday, Dec. 7th (end of the AT&T billing cycle for simplicity's sake). No internet access at home over the weekend. Good thing I didn't need to find an address or phone number!

But my phone service should be switched to Verizon today, and my order for DSL will be processed once that is complete. It will then take anywhere from 5 to 10 business days before my new hardware shows up and my internet access activated. They're saying probably closer to 5 days, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

In the meantime...anyone have a current copy of the yellow pages in paper?? I'm not sure where mine is...or if I ever even had one for Philly...

Winter attacks!

Between the freezing rain on Sunday, the wind on Monday and Tuesday, and the snow today, I think it's safe to say that winter is attacking. The snow that's been coming down for most of the day is sticking to most surfaces...a nice wet snow. It's beautiful. I love how it transforms everything into a white wonderland, covering up all the city grime. All day my friend and colleague KS has been practically dancing in her chair (you can read about her excitement on her blog). I have to admit snow really makes it feel like winter for me too. It makes me want to snuggle up in the house with a steaming mug of hot cocoa after a cold walk in the snow with the dog.

Speaking of Aussie, here is a description of what she sounds like when out in the snow:

snuffle snuffle snuffle
foof! [sharp exhale sending an explosion of snow into the air around her nose]
snuffle snuffle
foof!
snort
snuffle snuffle...

And then she attacks it. No joke. Attacks the snow. Hates the rain. Not too fond of the cold either, she takes care of business pretty quickly when it's chilly out. Unless there's snow involved. Then she must inspect every. single. pile. of. snow. And nothing can make her hurry up. Not even me imploring her because my toes are getting cold. She's in the land o' snow and is lost to the rest of the world.

snuffle snuffle snuffle
foof!
[sneeze]
snuffle snuffle...

Side note: this post marks one full year of blogging for me. My blog is ONE YEAR OLD. That's longer than I've ever managed to keep a journal or diary before...guess I really did form that habit after all.

Elevator roulette

We have three elevators at my end of the building at work. Three. One dedicated for staff use only, that only goes between the first floor and the ground floor. The other two are general public use, and you have to use a key to access the ground floor because they open into a staff-access only area. There are no open stairways that lead to this end of the staff-access only area. At any given time, two of these three elevators may not be working properly.

A colleague aptly described the staff use only elevator as "chronically ill" in a meeting this morning. There are times you get on it, push the button, the doors close, but you don't move. It just doesn't go anywhere. So you push the doors open button and get out on the same floor you got on. Other times it moves but the doors don't open at your destination. Or you try to call the elevator, the button lights up, but the elevator doesn't move. There's even a plaque in that staff elevator commemorating when President Gerald Ford got trapped in it!

As for the public use elevators, generally one of the two isn't functioning. Usually because the doors won't shut properly. Again, you can get on, push a button, but you don't go anywhere. Or you'll call the elevator to, say, go down (with your key, mind you), and both will arrive, but because the lighted arrows at the top of each elevator don't work properly, you can't tell which is going up and which is going down (both light up). I can't tell you how many times I've just taken a ride because I got on the wrong one. And you can't take these elevators to the 6th floor...you have to use the ones at the other end of the building. If you do try to take the ones at my end of the building to the 6th floor, the doors do open, but they open into a locked cage that you can't get out of from the inside (so I've been told...and I have no desire to find out, thankyouverymuch).

At this point, I'm inclined to make sure I take my cell phone with me whenever I ride the elevator just in case I get stuck.

And make sure you leave extra time if you have to go to the bathroom. There are no bathrooms on the first floor (could someone explain this to me? how is that good design??). You either have to go down to the staff area on the ground floor, or up to the third floor for bathrooms on this end of the building. They exist on the second floor, but only at the other end. And God forbid you get stuck in an elevator (or waiting for an elevator) on your way...

Phone resolution

Who knew a simple dial tone without static could make me so happy. And that it would take so long for me to get it in this day and age. It's not like phone service is new or anything.

The cable technician came to inspect my lines today. And determined that I indeed had a bad stretch of cable. So for about an hour I had nothing (no dial tone, just silence...it was kind of spooky, actually) while he took out the old cable and put up new. And I've had a stable non-static filled line ever since. He even called to let me know that the maintenance was complete and that should fix the problem, confirming again that it was a cable problem.

So this confirms it. I wasn't crazy. I didn't deserve the insults, being talked down to, or the full year I've been fighting with AT&T to actually make someone come look at my exterior lines. And now that I've made them pay for the repairs, I'm leaving them and switching my service providers, effective Friday. Because they don't deserve any more of my money or time. They've taken enough of both thankyouverymuch.

Confusion...but I'm not crazy!

So, um, the technician that I scheduled for Monday morning showed up on Saturday mid-day. Yup. Apparently he got the order early so he showed up. Great. Finally my lines are going to be looked at. And they're early. Even better. Maybe sobbing on the phone got to them and they're actually trying to apologize by doing right for once as opposed to just saying sorry a zillion times for their screw up. [I know...wishful thinking...but stranger things have happened!]

First the bad news. He looked at my line coming to the house, and my connection isn't great, and the line needs to be replaced. He tried switching me temporarily to different connectors, but that didn't help matters any. There's something wrong between the tower and the connection at my house. Presumably the copper wire is exposed somewhere along there, which is why I have problems during inclement weather. But there's nothing the technician can do. He's referred the problem to the team that does maintenance on the lines, and they'll probably have to replace them. But in the meantime, I have to live with the static on my line and the intermittent DSL signal that results from the static. Fabulous.

The good news in all of this? I'm not crazy! On several occasions they tried to tell me that it was a problem with the lines in my walls, which is why I had such a hard time convincing them to send someone out to look at the lines coming into the house. The technician confirmed that no, that's not the problem, it really is a problem OUTSIDE, which is why it only happens during inclement weather conditions like rain. And why the static clears up after a few days...the lines finally dry out. So I was right. After all the phone calls, the insults, the problems, the technician confirmed that I was right all along. It's their problem, not mine. The exterior lines are their responsibility. And they will be fixed, hopefully soon now that the issue has been identified.

So I consider this a victory. Even though I have to live with the issue a bit longer, still, it's now clearly their problem. And I'm not crazy. W00T!

And my line is surprisingly stable today. We're having a winter storm and everything is freezing (snow, freezing rain, slick sidewalks, the works). The line must be frozen...I wonder if the ice helps conduct the signal...or maybe it's just not wet anymore because the moisture froze up...frankly, I don't care. All I know is that it's stable for the first time in a week!!

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. There's a portion of the AIDS Memorial Quilt hanging in the library where I work right now. I went and stood in front of it the other day. Just stood there. It's humbling. This single panel, just 12 feet square, is so much more than it's fabric...it's pure emotion. Completely overwhelming to stand there and feel and know what it means. And frightening to realize just how many people are affected by this disease. Just how many lives have been touched around the world. There are over 91,000 names on that quilt. And that's just a small percentage (less than 20%) of those that have died. There are millions of people living with the disease worldwide.

I can tell you exactly when I learned about the disease. I was in junior high. Twelve years old. My parents sat me down and told me that the father of a friend was dying. Of AIDS. And that no one knew but a few people so I couldn't talk about it. And that none of our friends at school were being told out of fear of their reaction, and fear that my friend and her family would be shunned or subject to hate and other fear prompted reactions. I was the only one that knew it was AIDS. Prejudices and fear were rampant, as it just wasn't understood. How people got it wasn't even fully understood. Treatment options were limited back then. We didn't know much, and could really only offer support for symptoms. Fighting the disease wasn't really an option yet. Over the next year his condition deteriorated, and he died. It was painful to watch, and to know what was really going on but unable to talk about it. I was never told how, but in the mid to late 1980s, we were still learning about it, so it could have been any number of ways. The rest of his family was tested, including my friend. Fortunately, none of them had contracted the disease.

I know it was so hard on my friend. We'd known the family for years, which is why we knew what was really going on. And I was told because my parents knew that my friend needed someone to talk to, and that I wouldn't tell anyone or judge them because of it. I know it was scary, for all of us. We didn't really understand, and it was a steep learning curve for everyone. And it was sobering, to be 12 and 13 years old and watch someone die from a terrible disease. My great-grandfather had died of cancer when I was 3, but I don't really remember. Every other death up to that point had been more sudden like a heart attack, or they were older relatives like my great-grandmother. But this was a young man...a parent...and it was hard to comprehend. I know for awhile my friend didn't believe it. She was in denial. But once she accepted it, she had a really hard time.

I had a hard time looking at the Quilt. It reminded me so much of that time. Of how people are affected, how his family's lives were affected. I remembered my friend sobbing in my arms in the hallway at school the first time she realized she'd never get to tell her dad about her prom, or her first year of high school. He'd be gone before then. And I feel all the emotions I felt as a 12 year old girl: fear, anger, sadness, confusion, hurt...

And then I get angry. Angry when I think about how people don't think it's real, and don't protect themselves. Or judge those that are living with HIV or dying of AIDS due to ignorance or hate. So take care of yourself and your family. Protect yourself. It's real. It's not going away. So today, World AIDS Day, think about the over 33 MILLION people worldwide that have HIV or AIDS. Think about their families, their friends, who's lives are changed because of it forever. And then figure out what you can do to make a difference, even if it's just simply educating yourself or making a donation.

Knew it wasn't that simple

My phone woes are not over. I knew it was too simple. But instead of triple checking everything I decided to just believe that things MIGHT actually be changing and going the way they were supposed to for once.

I was wrong. So very very wrong. AGAIN.

Tuesday I arrived home to see the service people tried to come by but couldn't get to the box so they needed to access the premises. This does not surprise me. The alley is quite overgrown and blocked off at one end, so it's not inconceivable that they need to go through my house to get to the phone box where the line comes into the house. Now, my service at this point is still with AT&T, and they were the ones that sent out the tech. The notice in my door was from Verizon, and it told me I needed to call and schedule an appointment. So I do this: first, I call AT&T, and they tell me to call the service people directly since they left the card. So I call Verizon. And I'm told that yes, I called the right place. AT&T contracts with Verizon for the physical maintenance. And yes, they can set up the appointment. So we do. For Friday afternoon between 1pm and 5pm.

I'm sure you can see where this is going...

Anyway, after making that appointment, I call Verizon to have my service switched over after being insulted for the umpteenth thousandth time by the AT&T phone and DSL technicians. They tell me that the order is all set up, and like I said in my previous post, I'm actually going to get some nice discounts and it will actually cost me quite a bit less per month for the same set of products I'm getting now. Well, they call back two days later and tell me that there's a small problem. In order for them to switch the DSL, I need to call and put in an order to cancel my DSL with AT&T first. Once they see that the order for cancellation is in, they can place the order for internet service through them. OK. Granted, this creates some minor panic as it means I won't have home internet access for a good 8 to 10 business days between canceling my service with AT&T and when the service with Verizon actually gets activated. But I can deal. Really. [takes several deep breaths] So I call and cancel my DSL with AT&T on Thursday. Effective Dec. 7th, which is the end of my billing cycle and due to various reasons, pretty much the earliest date possible for them to flip the f*cking switch to turn it off (I don't understand why it takes a minimum of 5 business days, but whatever). The only good thing is that it will be the end of the billing cycle so there won't be any credits/partial bills etc. for them to screw up.

Now, the service tech coming out has nothing to do with my service switch. Nothing. It does, however, create some confusion when I call to confirm the appointment, but it gets cleared up. I confirm that my service will be switched now that I've canceled my DSL with AT&T, AND that a tech is coming out to the house on Friday afternoon to fix the physical problem with the line. I'm told everything is fine. Remember, this is Thursday. And everything is all set. No problem, I am assured multiple times. Everything is clear.

Again, WRONG. So very very wrong.

It's now Friday. I took the afternoon off work and waited all afternoon for the technician. No one showed up. So I called the nice little number they gave me to inquire if the tech didn't show by a specific time. I'm told that the appointment had actually been canceled. WTF?? No one told me. Seriously. NO ONE TOLD ME. Apparently, I called the wrong place and should never had been able to make the appointment in the first place. Federal guidelines and all. But that still doesn't explain why no one f*cking told me this or let me know the appointment was canceled. It took an hour on the phone to get this answer. ONE HOUR. And my phone line is still full of static. Which means my DSL signal is intermittent. And there's nothing the Verizon people can do.

I literally started to cry. I sat there on the phone with the person and sobbed. I'm the CONSUMER. It's not my JOB to know these things. I'm NOT the company. They are. How am I supposed to know the Federal guidelines regarding who I have to make an appointment through for service on my physical line? I just call the help line and go through the f*cking menus to talk to a person. Ultimately, after my sobbing for a good 10 minutes, they tell me I can either cancel my order to switch service to them, or wait until the service switches and then call and make a NEW appointment directly with them, or try calling AT&T again to make a new appointment through them. I manage to get out between sobs to NOT cancel my order to switch my service. But it's now been clarified that they can't even switch the service until the DSL is OFF completely. Which is different than what the other TWO people told me. Fine. Whatever. So my service won't be switched from AT&T to Verizon until December 7th.

Back to the problem that started it all. The physical line. I call AT&T. The first time I called, they told me to call the service people at Verizon directly to make the appointment. I've now learned that was wrong. So I call back to schedule a service appointment, but since it's after 5pm on a Friday, they can't send anyone out today. Despite the fact that I already had an appointment, which, ironically, is showing up in their system even though I didn't make it through them. [Are you confused? Yes? Well, so am I] We're now trying this again, and I have a NEW service appointment on Monday morning between 8am and noon. This means I have to live with the static on my line and the DSL problems all weekend. Yes, I'm quite cranky about this. OK, VERY cranky.

But cross your fingers that the service technician shows up on Monday morning. One way or another, this will all be over soon. But if this keeps up, and I get frustrated enough, I just might cancel my home phone line altogether and go with cable internet access and wireless (i.e. mobile/cell) only for my phone...

Success! I'm free of AT&T!

I have left AT&T. When I called to complain (yet again) about my intermittent DSL service (which continued all evening because it was still raining), the screwed up order, and other such delights, I learned a valuable piece of information. I was no longer under any contract with them for phone or DSL. I asked and had the person repeat themselves 3 times just to be sure. Apparently the previous customer service individual I spoke to was wrong (this is NOT surprising). No contract meant I could leave them at any time without penalty. Apparently the gods were smiling on me.

So I left. Effective Wednesday afternoon I am a Verizon customer. My home phone number will NOT change. And I'm actually going to save quite a bit of money since I can now bundle my phone, internet (DSL), TV and wireless into one bill. One bill to pay for all those services. Simplification at it's finest not to mention using less paper! And voice mail is included. No more paying for voice mail (AT&T...get a clue and enter the 21st century: stop charging for voice mail!). Just the phone service alone is cheaper than what I could get as the most basic service through AT&T. Their high speed internet is cheaper by over $10 too. What's more, bundling gives me some nice discounts on services I already had (TV and wireless). I've been a happy Verizon wireless customer for about 5 years and I have no complaints about my DirecTV service during the past year (except when the weather wrecks havoc with my reception during my favorite shows, but that's not their fault). So far this looks promising. At the very least, I won't have to be insulted by AT&T's customer "service" reps when I call to report a problem anymore. That alone is worth switching companies for.

So good-bye to AT&T. No more frustrating so-called customer service for me!

What next? (a rant)

My home phone and DSL service is through AT&T. Because I was an AT&T customer in my PCOR due to their merger with SBC, and because I was technically still under a DSL contract when I moved here, I had to continue to use AT&T or face an over $200 early termination fee. Fine, whatever, I'll continue with AT&T here in Philly. I wasn't too concerned, as my service with them in various previous cities had been pretty good. I hadn't had a whole lot of problems, other than the usual complaints about things like international long distance costing too much (what else is new). But the switch over was not smooth. I should have seen this as a warning about what kind of service I was in store for from AT&T out here. The two regional service areas told me different things, my service got screwed up, and it took multiple phone calls over the course of several days just to get my service set up correctly, i.e. the way it was written on my contract and in all my account information. For some reason, there was a disconnect between what I was paying for versus what I was getting. And ironically it was the regional service provider back in my PCOR that was able to fix the problem, or at least communicate with the AT&T people out here to get it fixed.

Alas, that was not the last of my problems with them out here. I have had various problems with AT&T over the past year. Static on my line. Intermittent connections. DSL issues. You can read about them here and here. Why haven't I switched, you ask? Well, that damn contract thing again. With DSL you sign up for a service contract, usually for a minimum of one year. Mine somehow morphed from a one year to a two year contract when I moved out here. So until August 2008 I am still under contract for DSL service. But my problems haven't been limited to just my DSL. I've also had issues with the general phone line. I've made countless calls to report problems with my service. And for awhile I thought things had been resolved and the problems fixed.

I was wrong. So very very wrong. And I have two issues with them now, one an old problem, and one where they screwed things up with my service plan yet again.

It's raining today. For months I had issues with massive amounts of static on my line every time it rained. Literally every single time it rained. And they tried to tell me it was a problem with the wiring in my walls. Yeah, sure, um, NOT. And every time I had to call twice: once to report the problem of the static on my general phone line, and then call back again to report the fact that the static caused my DSL signal to become intermittent (i.e. no internet connection). After a multitude of angry phone calls from me, they finally sent a technician out to the house to look at the connection between the house and the incoming lines sometime this past summer, almost a year after I first reported the problem. And the problem appeared to have been fixed by the technician. We had rain storms for days. One that even exposed that slow leak. But I had no problems with my phone service or my DSL.

Again, and I admit it, I was WRONG. It hasn't actually been fixed, I was apparently just lucky for a few months. I had to call this morning and report static on my line yet again. The static was so bad I could barely hear the prompts from the automated system on the other end. I called before I left for work, around 7am. No, I have no idea when the problem started, as I was asleep until 5:30ish. But it's raining, so presumably it started sometime after the rain started in the middle of the night. And of course my DSL signal is intermittent so I have no internet access AGAIN. They're sending another technician to see what's going on at the connection between the house and incoming lines. Sometime today or tomorrow before 7pm. Fabulous.

But this is not my only problem. I called on Nov. 14th to change my basic phone service (not my DSL, just the phone, which has no contract) to a simpler plan. I had done my research, I knew exactly what I wanted, but for some reason the system wouldn't let me do it myself online. So I called. And spent a good half hour on the phone repeating myself and refusing other offers. Only to be told at the end that their computers were down for maintenance/upgrade and once they got it in the system it would take 7 to 10 days to process the switch. Great. So I proceeded to track my order online. My order was put into the system on Nov. 19th. It was processed on Nov. 21st. My order was for a basic phone line package with two features: CallerID and call forwarding. And I was keeping my voice mail (which they charge for...who charges for voice mail in this day and age?? but that's another rant). I made it abundantly clear to the technician that I did NOT want call waiting. I loathe call waiting. Hate it with a passion. She asked me three times and all three times I said no. And when she read my order back to me, she read it to me correctly: NO call waiting, just CallerID and call forwarding, with basic phone service.

But guess what? AT&T screwed up my order. Yup. They f*cked up my service yet again. Somewhere between that phone conversation and the entering of the order into the computer, or between the order in the computer and completion of the order, CallerID got replaced by call waiting. So I haven't had CallerID since before Thanksgiving. And what's worse, they charged me to make the service plan changes. Yup. I paid them to screw up my phone service. I am so beyond pissed right now. This evening I have to make yet another phone call to have them fix it (i.e. get rid of call waiting and turn CallerID back on) and have them refund me the service charge for the change. Because I'm not paying for their mistake. And I will be a pain in their rear until they refund me my money and fix the problem. Or until they release me from my contract so I can go someplace else with my business. Because this is unbelievable. How is it possible for them to screw up the same problems over and over and never fix them?? What the f*ck am I paying them so much money for each month?? I just can't stand it.

How one company can be so beyond incompetent as to do EVERYTHING wrong with a customer all at once I have no idea. And then try and blame it on the customer. How they survive and keep such a lion's share of the market is beyond me.

What friends are for

What do you get when you put together 3 type-A personalities to help move a 4th type-A personality? Entertainment, of course!

Saturday I drove down to the Washington, DC area. SB, one of my good friends from my PCOR (previous city of residence), has moved to just outside of DC in Maryland. And two of my other good friends had driven over with her to help. LC, LP, and SB helped me when I was leaving, too. If your best friends, who don't want you to leave, are willing to help you move far away, you know you have the best friends in the world.

Anyway, SB, LC, LP and LP's roomie A drove over from my PCOR on Friday (a very very long drive with SB's two cats and her dog just to make it interesting). They couldn't get into the apartment until Saturday morning at 9am, so I got up literally before dawn, got my dog and myself in the car with plenty of coffee (for me), and drove down to join them, a little less than 2 1/2 hours each way. The drama started immediately. When the truck was loaded and locked up, the lock was put on in such a way that they couldn't get the key in to unlock it. Fortunately, we had help in the form of A. He did something involving a brute force and wrench and managed to get the truck open. I didn't witness the application of brute force and frankly, I don't want to know.

This is where the type-A personalities really made things interesting. SB was moving into a small second floor apartment. There was a living room, bedroom, kitchen, and a spare bedroom/office. The bathroom was occupied by her cats. Because SB also has a dog, the dog was put in her crate in the spare room (now forever dubbed "Rosie's room"), and Aussie napped in my car all day (just trying to contain the drama a bit). We all were trying to organize things, offering advice as to where boxes should go, when to move in specific items of furniture, etc. We had a really funny moment where LP commented on how it was clear that SB didn't care anymore so we could do what we wanted now, which SB heard, started to object but then realized was true so we all had a good laugh break. But none-the-less everything got moved in. SB has about a third of the stuff that the rest of us have (i.e. only two boxes of books...right now I have three boxes of books to GIVE AWAY...imagine how many boxes of books I'm keeping). With LP moving things from the back of the truck to the ramp, and me, SB, LC and A taking things upstairs, it only took about an hour and a half. An hour and a half of good work, and we were all definitely tired by the end, but it all got done.

Except for the couch. SB had a full sized couch with big poufy arms on it. Yes, HAD. She no longer has said couch because it couldn't fit up the stairs and through the door. Just before the landing in front of her apartment door there was a right turn. What's more, the landing was small, and had a low and sloped ceiling. There was no way that couch was gonna fit. And we tried. We moved it up the stairs, got it all the way to the turn in the stairs and then realized that the way we had it wasn't going to make the turn. So we moved it back down flipped it around a different way and tried again. Back up the stairs. This time we made the right turn, but couldn't get it onto the landing or through the door. Despite all five of us trying to get that couch into her apartment, it just wasn't going to fit. No way no how. So we moved it back down the stairs and back into the truck to be taken away and donated. Fortunately SB didn't have any attachment to the couch and was willing to part with it. Eventually she will get a new (smaller) couch or futon (that can be taken apart to move it). Sunday I realized that I have a bruise on my shoulder from where the couch was resting as we tried to get it up the stairs. No, I can't tell you when the bruise happened, but the couch was resting on my shoulder at one point as I supported it with my legs on the stairs.

Once the truck was returned, the rental car for LC, LP and A's trip back home was picked up, and a pizza was ordered and picked up (OMG zpizza is delicious!), we all had a chance to sit and visit for awhile. So good to have some time. I really miss them all so very much. That's the sucky thing about moving, you have to leave people behind. Lucky for us in this day and age you're never that far away. The drive down to SB's new place is easily a day trip so hopefully we'll see each other more often. And I'll make a trip back to see LC and LP for a long weekend in March for my birthday.

My legs are sore from all the trips up and down the stairs (despite all my biking), but I'm still smiling from the opportunity to see my friends for the day. It was worth it.

Accents

No one can ever guess where I'm from. I have no true "accent" that affiliates me with one part of the country.

What American accent do you have? (Best version so far) Neutral You're not Northern, Southern, or Western, you're just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don't really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

This quiz supports that. I just moved a lot. I'm not from the middle of the country (as marked on the map). But I did live there for a few years. Some of my words come out sounding like I'm from one place, others like a completely different part of the country. Add a few pieces of international slang into the mix and yeah, I'm an American mutt with a dash of international cosmopolitanism. And proud of it.

Thanksgiving leftovers

Leftovers are my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal. The open faced hot turkey sandwiches are perhaps one of my all time favorite things to eat. Seriously. A nice slice of bread, topped with turkey, some dressing/stuffing, possibly mashed potatoes, and then gravy. Warm it up (oven or microwave, your preference), and top with cranberry relish/sauce. OMG so good. Yes, a carb fest, but so delicious I really don't care.

Yesterday I made a Thanksgiving menu of experiments. Recipes I've been wanting to try, but I didn't want to make someone be a guinea pig. Here's a brief review of what I made and how it went.

Turkey breast, brined: I've never brined a turkey before. Alton Brown (food and science nerd GOD!) swears by this method and it's supposed to keep the turkey moist during roasting. The brine I made included water, white wine, orange juice, peppercorns, whole allspice, fresh ginger, brown sugar and salt. I actually put the turkey breast in the brine on Wednesday night, and stirred and flipped the breast over first thing Thursday morning. The total brine time in the fridge ended up being about 18 hours. Anything between 12 and 24 hours is good. I rinsed it, rolled it up and tied it with twine so the skin covered all the meat, rubbed it with a little bit of oil, salt and pepper, and thew it in a roasting pan with onion, celery and apple chunks (aromatics make for good roasts!). It certainly came out tender and moist, and the brine gave the meat a bit of flavor. You could definitely taste the salt, and I'd prefer to not taste it, so I need to figure out what I did or what I need to do to fix that. Maybe I need to rinse it more before roasting, or roll it up and tie it before brining to reduce the surface area exposed to the brine. But I could taste a hint of ginger and allspice, and I liked that very much. Overall, quite delicious.

Dressing: no stuffing, as I'm not roasting a whole bird. So instead I'm making my own dressing, with fresh bread cubes dried out in the oven. We've always used the bag of bread cubes in the past, but I wanted to make only a partial recipe (like only one-fourth of the usual size), so it was actually easier to make my own out of a small loaf of white bread. A little onion, celery, broth, butter and seasoning, and you have dressing. Mine turned out a bit dry, but it sure tasted good. I just need to add a bit more broth to keep it moist. But it did soak up the gravy quite nicely.

Gravy: of course. Made from the pan drippings, which have all this great turkey flavor plus the aromatics. Tasty stuff. No giblets, no hard boiled egg, just pan drippings, pepper, some broth and thickened up with a broth and cornstarch slurry. It didn't thicken up the way I wanted, but gravy is an art. I just need to practice more. As my mom said, "it's in the doing" that you master gravy. It did thicken a bit as it cooled, however, so I did something right.

Brussels sprouts: I love these. Love them. I love to roast them with other veggies, or even just steam them and top with some butter and a touch of vinegar. This year I decided to try another Food Network recipe, this one from Giada: Brussels sprouts with pancetta. OK, so I didn't have pancetta...but I did have BACON! Brussels sprouts, bacon and garlic sauteed together. How can you go wrong. Seriously. Because I used bacon rather than pancetta and it tends to be fattier, I did have to pour some of the rendered fat out of the pan before I added the garlic and sprouts. OMG so good. I could eat this all by itself for dinner!

Mashed sweet potato with ginger: I bought fresh ginger for my turkey brine, and had a bit leftover. My friend LC told me about these amazing mashed sweet potatoes with ginger that she had sampled from Whole Foods. So I decided to try and recreate it. I baked the sweet potato in it's jacket, and then peeled and mashed it up with milk, a touch of butter, shredded fresh ginger, a touch of brown sugar, and just a dash of salt and pepper. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

Cranberry-apple-orange relish: OK, so this one is a tradition. But as I said before, the holiday just doesn't feel right without it. I'll probably make it again for Christmas at Grandmother's this year. And I do love eating it. A full recipe gives me a weeks worth, but I honestly don't get sick of it. It also has some candied ginger in it, and I always throw in a bit extra to give it an extra little bite.

Mulled apple cider: another tradition. I bought a 1/2 gallon of fresh local apple cider at the farmers' market on Wednesday, and simmered it with whole allspice, whole cloves, cinnamon stick, a sliced orange and a touch of sugar. Between the cider and the turkey the house still smells incredible.

The menu verdict: I will definitely try this menu out again on guests. An excellent Thanksgiving meal. I even took a few pictures and put them up on Flickr, the turkey breast roast turned out that pretty and the Brussels sprouts that delicious looking. I'm actually kind of impressed with myself that it did turn out that well. I wasn't expecting it. A very satisfying plate of food. Aussie thoroughly enjoyed her plate as well [the dog gets just a bite of everything...it is a holiday after all].

The leftover sandwich today (and tomorrow, and Sunday, etc.) should be damn good. I realize there was no dessert listed, but I'm making Pumpkin Rolls today (yes, five of them), and I will have to sample one to make sure they turn out right. Cook's prerogative, you know (nudge nudge, wink wink).

Hope everyone is enjoying their Thanksgiving leftovers as much as I am!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving has to be my favorite holiday. It's a combination of some of my favorite things: cooking, eating, and hanging out with friends and family you care about. And even better, there's no gift pressure. I know, I know, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about being grateful for everything in your life. Well, when I can't think of anything better than getting together a bunch of family and friends and just hanging out together and eating lots of good food. Not much makes me happier than that. And I see the purpose of the day as just that. I'm grateful for my friends and family, so I choose to spend the day with them. It makes sense to me.

Growing up Thanksgiving in our house was always a completely random gathering of people. Most of which were either unable to travel or had no place to travel to. So my family threw open its doors and welcomed everyone to our table. Most of our guests only had my family in common, and often had never met. You'd think that this would cause tension, but somehow it never did. And the group of people was different from year to year.

People would start arriving mid-day to hang out for a few hours before the feast. We had snacks out, hot mulled apple cider (non-alcoholic) simmering in a coffee carafe (specially designated as cider-only), a jigsaw puzzle out on the non-formal dining table, and music on in the background. The football game would be turned on, but with low volume so as not to intrude on conversation. My parents are both from Michigan, so the annual Detroit Lions-Dallas Cowboys game is very much a part of the Thanksgiving tradition in both families (yes, I will have the Lions game, this year versus Green Bay, on myself in the background today). But it certainly wasn't the center of attention at our house. Usually people gathered around the jigsaw puzzle with a mug of cider and a plate of snacks, and chatted while trying to fit pieces together.

There was no kid table in our house. We all sat at the big dining room table together, pulling in extra chairs from all over the house. The day before we'd put the extra leaves into the table, and put down the tablecloth and candles, and set the table with the china (which we used for all holiday and special occasion meals). And yes, even us kids got to use the china. One year the cat decided to "help" us. We had a sheet we would put under the tablecloth as an extra layer of protection for the table. She figured out that if she got a running start from the living room and jumped on one end of the table, she could slide all the way to the other end on the sheet! She'd then jump off and circle around to do it again. Mom and I just stood there and watched, laughing hysterically, spreading the sheet back out after each pass. Eventually she lost interest and we were able to set the table, but she took probably a dozen "rides" on the sheet first!

The big feast was usually mid to late afternoon. Everyone brought one dish to share, usually a dish considered traditional in their family. Our Thanksgiving feast varied from year to year depending on the guests. Yes, we had central elements (turkey!), but it was so cool to see what other people considered traditional dishes. Over the years a few became part of our traditional dishes. But this also meant that often we had duplication. A few years we had multiple green bean dishes. Most years we had at least two different cranberry sauce/relish recipes, as we had our own traditional Cranberry-Orange-Apple relish. I still have to make that relish either for Thanksgiving or Christmas or the season just doesn't feel right. And my cousin likes the cranberry sauce from the can that you slice. But more duplication meant more yummy foods to try and more yummy leftovers (my favorite part, I'll get into that more in my next post).

We always made the turkey, as well as at least one dish of dressing. There was always whipped/mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes baked with brown sugar, butter and marshmallows on top, dressing/stuffing, rolls, salad, cranberry sauce/relish, various vegetable dishes like broccoli-cheese casserole or green been casserole or braised baby carrots, at least one chilled jello salad (such as pistachio fluff), and of course gravy, one with giblets and one without. A feast. Definitely a feast. You had to pace yourself so you had room to sample everything on the table. And that was just dinner. Dessert came later.

After eating, an assembly line was usually set up to clear the table, package everything up, and do the dishes. It never took long. Then we'd take a break and work on the puzzle, watch the parades or football on TV, visit, or just fall asleep on the couch and take a little nap. After an hour or so, people would start to think about dessert.

Dessert was just as much a feast as dinner. We always made our traditional Pumpkin Roll, which we'd make ahead as it had to be chilled (one less thing to do on Thanksgiving day!). There was also usually a pecan pie (did I mention my mom's family is from the South?), a pumpkin pie, and a few years there was even sweet potato pie. Or fruit pies like apple or mincemeat (with suet but with chopped apple instead of meat so it was sweet rather than savory). And plenty of ice cream or whipped topping for the pies. Guests would bring other desserts that aren't usually considered Thanksgiving desserts. I remember a chocolate-toffee layered dessert with cake, pudding, whipped cream and toffee bits, kind of like a trifle. Yummy. There was a delicious pear tart one year as well and unfortunately I didn't get the recipe.

This year I have no plans other than to make a meal for myself and spend the day at home. And I'm actually grateful for that. I'm grateful to have the time to myself to put things in order in my house and my life. To continue the purge of un-needed and un-wanted belongings that I've been dragging around. To recharge. And I am cooking myself a Thanksgiving dinner, with all sorts of recipes I've been wanting to try for sometime now. If they go well, then I'll have a lovely Thanksgiving menu for next year. If they go badly, well, let's just say the dog will be very grateful for a few days.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Limits

A friend asked me today when I was going to start saying "no" when I'm asked to participate in something or do something in addition to my normal work/life. This is a question I get asked often and I've discussed it before. I'm not very good at saying no, but I never really could explain why I'm not good at it.

I finally have an answer.

I will say "no" when I no longer have something to say or something I want to contribute.

Presumably, that means when I finally say "no" it will be because I'm dead.

An evening of Bach

Last week my friend AH asked me if I would be interested in an evening of Bach with her and DS on Sunday. It's been quite some time since I've had the opportunity to enjoy some beautiful classical music so I jumped at the chance to join them.

The Curtis Institute of Music here in Philadelphia does a series of student recitals every year. Over one hundred. Sunday night was once such recital, in a beautiful location: St. Mark's Church. St. Mark's was built in 1849, and it's a grand stone building, very Gothic Revival. Needless to say an incredible setting for an evening of baroque music.

The concert was the complete Brandenburg Concertos by J. S. Bach. This is quite the endeavor, especially for a student recital. Most student recitals are small groups, or solos with accompaniment. These Concertos require multiple different arrangements of instruments and people, all of varying number. Sometimes a student would be playing the lead part, yet in the Concerto immediately previous or following they might be the support. Not an easy situation for a student, yet an incredible opportunity. The evening was divided into two halves: No. 1 through No. 3 at 4pm, and then No. 4 through No. 6 at 7:30pm. Between was a dinner break.

One of the things that makes this arrangement of the Brandenburg Concertos unique was the harpsichord (side note: what's with harpsichords almost always being painted in gaudy colors? the inside of the lid on this one was bright orange with a gold border!). And in some it was the support, yet in others it took a more prominent role. Each Number had a combination of strings and/or wind instruments and the harpsichord. Not something you get to hear everyday.

No. 1 had some great echoes between the violins, the oboes and the horns. The violins would play the melody solo, the whole group would play, the oboes would have the melody solo, the whole group would play, and then the horns had the solo. It was really interesting to hear how each different type of instrument changed how the melody sounded.

In No. 2 the trumpet was awesome! The trumpet player was a young woman and she rocked it. It was a small trumpet, almost like they had folded it in on itself, but wow what a sound. She had a great clear tone and never got lost behind all the other players.

No. 3 was all strings. The cellos were great. And the professor played the harpsichord for this one because there's a moment where Bach gives the player liberty to do what he likes. Pure improvisation. I'm sure he decided how he was going to play it that very day.

Next was the dinner break. St. Mark's is in a part of town with restaurants everywhere. And nearby was Monk's, home of yummy Belgian beer and mussels. AH went for mussels with a bit of spice (she has a cold so spicy food is always nice to help clear the sinuses). I decided to try their burgers this time, getting the "Trappist" with lettuce, tomato and goat cheese, hold the raw onions please. It was quite yummy. DS also had a burger and we split a basket of their yummy pommes frites. But the Bourbon mayo that comes with the fries was all his (Bourbon is just not my thing). And of course we all had a beer (how can you not?).

We got back to the church in plenty of time to get a good seat for the second half.

The violin player that had the primary part in No. 4 was amazing. His fingers positively danced on the strings. It was such incredible finger work and he played it effortlessly. The two flutes played off of each other beautifully, alternately letting each other be the stronger sound. And with such beautiful clear tone to their playing. In general all the players were so impressive during all three movements of No. 4.

No. 5 contained the harpsichord solo. The professor played again for this Concerto, as one movement contained quite a long solo with plenty of room for interpretation.

For No. 6 there was another unique element: no violins, only the lower strings (viola, cello and bass). It was beautiful. It was amazing to see how the violas played almost "around" each other, one playing then the other, chasing each other through the melody. I love canons in music. Many of my favorite musical pieces are canons, so it was great to hear one with a pair of violas.

All six of the Concertos have this wonderful layering element to them. I love how Bach layers the music and you can hear him building them: one instrument starts, then another picks up the melody, then a third, then eventually everyone joins in. And try as I might, I can't pick a favorite one. I enjoyed them all immensely.

It was an amazing evening of music. And I was positively humbled by the talent of these young musicians. I'm going to have to check out other student recitals. You just can't beat an evening of free classical music played by a group of students that obviously have a passion for what they are playing.

Remnants

I recently made a decision, a freeing decision. I decide to not force myself to do something. To not force myself to finish something. Typically I set a goal and complete it. I usually go the distance, the long haul. Whether I want to reach that goal or not by the end of things, I still complete it. This time I didn't. I decided to NOT complete the goal because a) I didn't want it anymore, I had lost all interest and passion, and b) it has no relevance to my life and career. My life and career has gone in a very different direction than I thought it would. At one point the goal was relevant. It fit with the direction I thought my career was headed. Then things changed and made a sharp turn to the left about 4 or 5 years ago. But I kept working towards the goal because I started it so I felt had to finish it (that stubborn streak I have). A rational person would have stopped at that point and asked why they were doing it. But I'm not always rational. I kept working towards the degree. A degree in a topic that at one point I enjoyed and thought was going to be part of my career. And I was very very close to the goal. But I was forcing myself and making myself miserable trying to reach it. So I finally stopped and asked myself why? Why was I doing this? What was the point? How does this fit with my life and career? I had no answers. No reasons. So I decided to stop. I don't need it. Deciding was like a breath of fresh air. I felt lighter. Free. Like I had thrown the albatross around my neck into the next galaxy. And calm. It was the right decision for me.

And then I realized I could purge. I didn't need to keep all the related stuff anymore.

So I spent part of my weekend purging the stuff I've been hauling around for years and years...3 copier paper boxes full of papers and notes to be recycled...a rather large box of binders (anyone need 3 ring binders?? various sizes available! I'll even throw in some dividers!)...a copier paper box full of books that I read because I had to but can't say that I enjoyed or will ever read again (buh bye Garcia Marquez!)...plus random related materials I've accumulated either by people giving them to me or in relation to a class (art exhibit pamphlets, notes from talks, etc.), a pile of paper clips and binder clips, a stack of note cards, and a small bag of trash.

What I'm left with are remnants. The files still on my computer. About a shelf and a half (maybe a little more) of books that I read and enjoyed or authors I've intentionally collected (Jorge Luis Borges, Tomas Eloy Martinez, and Isabel Allende to name three off the top of my head). Some reference books (kept one dictionary, got rid of the other two! wait, why did I have three anyway??). A couple of nice art prints. A file folder of all the "official" paperwork and info. And that's it. Those are the remnants of about 10 cumulative years of studying. And I feel so free.

Makes me want to purge some more. What else that I've been hauling around can I get rid of? I've got a 4 day weekend with Thanksgiving this week. That should be plenty of time to do some serious cleaning and purging.

New tires for my bike!

My bike's tires were old. Original to the bike. Which I purchased in January of 2000. For bike tires to last as long as they have is a small miracle.

Riding a bike in the city streets of Philly is like riding through a minefield. Not only do you have traffic, pedestrians, and other bikes, you have the streets. The streets themselves are their own challenge. Potholes. Debris and trash. Broken glass. Carpet staples (caused one of my flats). Bad repair jobs. Street car rails. Sink holes. And that's a short list.

So I was getting fairly frequent flats. Because as careful as you may be, that carpet staple is hard to see when it's raining. And my tires were old. And weren't designed for street riding. They were just a layer of rubber, no liner, and made for trails and soft ground. When I got my most recent flat yesterday morning on my way into work, I decided to do something about my frequent flat problem when I took it to the shop for repair. I decided to get new tires.

Tires that were made to deal with the hazards of city street riding. Tires with an extra layer of tough rubber built in. And a nylon mesh webbing lining the interior to resist punctures. The tires I got were recommended by the guys in the shop and were what I considered affordable (as in not set me back more than $100 for front and rear plus labor). These guys ride the streets every day. These shop guys have more than one bike outfitted for different purposes, and the one outfitted for the streets use these tires. I'll take that recommendation, thankyouverymuch.

So I have shiny new tires! It is a bit odd to have such shiny new tires on a bike that's definitely not shiny (wow does my bike need a tune up and a good cleaning). But I'm sure the the new tire look won't last long. I give them less than a week before the road grime covers up that shine. Especially since it's raining today.

Memory

Memory is a funny thing. Why do you remember what you do? Why are some memories stronger than others? I'm always surprised by how a smell or a sound can bring something back.

And how is it that memory can surprise you? If you knew something, then you should remember it. So why do I frequently surprise myself with what I remember? I've been reviewing some old course work recently, and I've been stunned by just how much I remember.

It's also funny what you commit to memory without even realizing it. In library school I remember my cataloging teacher telling the class that they didn't need to remember the MARC tags used for the books format. I looked at my friend and quipped "too late!" With daily use as a student employee in the library cataloging department I had pretty much committed all the main tags to memory. And despite the fact that I don't use them every day anymore (I deal with a different format of material and while some are the same, not all the tags overlap), I couldn't forget them even if I tried.

I suppose the memories never go away, we just lose the ability to access them. The mental paths we build when we're actively using the material deteriorate with lack of use. Much like a road, without maintenance they eventually become overgrown and crumble, some probably, and unfortunately, never to be rediscovered. I've still got a lot of course material to go through. I better sharpen my mental machete to cut through the overgrowth!

Cooking in the fall

I love the produce in season in the fall. While I love tomatoes and lettuce and zucchini and all the other spring and summer fruit and veggies (ok, I'll admit summer stone fruit is to die for, but apples are one of my all time favorite fruits), I love the produce that comes into season around September and sticks around all fall and into winter. Apples. Sweet onions. Potatoes. Squash (including pumpkin). All sorts of root veggies. And yes, even cabbage and Brussels sprouts. When the weather gets cold, there's nothing that beats a nice warm baked squash or potato. Or roasted veggies tossed with a touch of olive oil, salt and pepper. It makes you feel warm from the inside out.

One of my favorite things to have for any meal in the fall and winter is to just bake a squash with cheese in it. It was one of my favorites when I was living in Buenos Aires: calabaza con queso. The squash is so sweet when it cooks up, and the cheese so creamy and salty. It's the perfect combination.

Butternut squash and acorn squash make great soups. I have this great Thai inspired pumpkin soup that I don't mind eating for days on end. And I made an acorn squash soup with onion, apple and curry the other night that is a close second and only gets better the next day. Butternut holds up great in coconut curry sauces. And it's delicious on pizza. Spaghetti squash is yummy with brown butter and sage. And that's just a short list of my favorite ways to prepare squash. They work well in desserts too. And baking (breads, muffins...squash muffins are so good).

And then there's the yams and sweet potatoes. Bake those in a foil packet with a pork chop, some apple and onion and you've got a one pot meal. Or just bake them and mash them up with butter, sauteed onion and some parmesan cheese. Or turn them into soup with a little bit of bacon sprinkled on top (because everything is better with bacon).

I love the fall and winter. It's not too hot to cook and the possibilities are endless. And Thanksgiving is coming soon. So much cooking...so little time.

A random encounter with a neighbor

I had an interesting experience today on my evening walk with my dog. One of my neighbors hugged me. Now, before you freak out, one, the dog was with me and didn't get upset so he must be non-threatening (she would have barked/freaked otherwise), and two, this is someone I see regularly. He plays his drum over by the Zoo for the zoo-goers coming and going to the main parking lot. My daily bike commute takes me along the path between the entrance and the lot, right past where he sits. I see him pretty much every day when the weather is nice. And every day he shouts a greeting and waves at me.

Now, when I get home, I change out of my biking clothes before I walk the dog. Often I see him walking home from his spot by the Zoo. Turns out he lives probably a block or so from me on another street. So I walk by his house everyday with the dog, and I know he's seen me. But he didn't recognize me as the same person who biked past him.

That is, until today. Today when the dog and I walked past him while he was standing there talking to another neighbor, he looked at me and said: "Hey! You're my bike chick!" I smiled and confirmed this and started to walk past him. And then he hugged me. No sh*t. Just hugged me. Needless to say, I didn't see that one coming and was stunned momentarily. Based on his breath I'm fairly certain he had started happy hour for the day a few hours early, so he was in quite the good mood. My neighbor that he had been talking to chuckled and told him to "leave the poor girl alone." I just smiled, pulled myself out of the hug, told him I'd see him later, and kept walking.

Really, what else could I do?

Last weekend

CH arrived Friday evening, and since we were both hungry and I miraculously found a parking spot near 30th Street Station, we decided to grab a pint and some food at Bridgewater's Pub. For a place inside a commuter center/train station, they have remarkably good food and typically an excellent selection of beers on tap.

On Saturday we got up and spent a good amount of time debating food and activity for the day over coffee. We decided on Colonial Pizza for lunch. It's not too far from me, and the reviews I read were pretty good. We wanted something quick, as we did have an afternoon activity goal: the Penn Museum. We chose to get a salad and so-called "small" strombolis. They were HUGE. I'm sincerely afraid of the size of the large version. We ended up taking the other half home, and it was still a meal in itself on Sunday. Wow. Very tasty, but be prepared. My car still smells faintly of strombolis and we could smell them every time I opened the fridge the rest of the weekend. On Monday the smell was still lingering. It was certainly tasty enough that I'm going to have to go back to try their pizza next time.

Borderline over-full, we attempted to get to Penn Museum. I say attempted because it was our goal, but as with all best laid plans, sometimes they go awry. I got lost. Yes, yes I did. Have I mentioned that I don't drive much in Philly? I knew I was still on campus, I kind of knew where I was (things look very different when you're on foot/on a bike than behind the steering wheel of a car), and then we crossed a bridge and took a mini tour of South Philly. Oops. By the time found our way back to the Museum, which involved several illegal u-turns (yes, Jenna, I "flipped a b*tch"), it was a bit too late. We would have only had about 45 minutes before it closed. What's more, there were people everywhere because the UPenn football game was just getting out and the stadium is across the street from the Museum. So instead of seeing anything cultural as planned, I provided CH with ample opportunity to make fun of me. Nice job on my part, no?

As I mentioned, we had dinner plans with KS and RK at Fogo de Chao. I made a reservation for 8:30. Upon arrival, KS was given this pager thingy that lights up when your table is ready (smacks of suburban places like Cheesecake Factory). But despite the reservation, we didn't actually get seated until 9:30pm, a full hour after our supposed reservation. [Note to self: next time make my reservation for earlier than I want, or bring a snack in my purse.] But the evening did improve markedly once the pager thingy lit up. The first thing they asked us as we were sitting down is what kind of water we wanted. We all kind of stuttered for a moment, not usually being asked if we want tap, still or sparkling water with our meal. The wine list was extensive, with bottles displayed from floor to ceiling on most of the walls. Apparently the restaurant is located in what used to be an old jewelry store, so the architecture is quite ornate. High ceilings, lots of beautiful wood, and decorative touches and chandeliers in brass, silver and gold. Quite the setting. The high ceilings made it a bit noisy, but it was still quite beautiful.

We started our meal with the amazing salad bar that contained all sorts of "gourmet" and decadent things including hearts of palm (a first for RK and CH, they liked it), artichoke hearts, procuitto, tomatoes (fresh and dried), fresh mozzarella, parmesan cheese still in the wheel (they provided a tool for you to chip off chunks! so good!), asparagus, mixed salads, and so on and so on. Really quite the salad bar spread and certainly not your typical buffet bar. I could have made a meal of just selections from it. With the salad bar they brought us some cheese bread. This was not just any cheese bread. These were small crispy puffs of goodness, all soft and chewy inside. Light, fluffy, and absolutely divine. The literally melted in your mouth. CH and RK said the basil dressing was delicious. KS and I stuck to bits and pieces of veggies and cheese, sampling a variety of things rather than getting a lettuce salad, trying to make sure we had plenty of room for the main event: the meat.

OMG the meat. On swords. Each of us was given a little cardboard coaster that was green on one side and red on the other. You turn your little coaster from red (no thanks) to green (serve me please) and they just keep walking around. Servers with some type of grilled/roasted meat on a sword/skewer, with a platter below to catch the juices and knives to carve you off a piece. They would set the platter on the edge of the table, ask if you wanted well done, medium, or medium rare, and start cutting you off a chunk from the skewer. We all had little tongs to grab the pieces as they were cut. Each table has a "guide" of all the different varieties of meat (a mix of cuts of beef, chicken, and pork, including sausage); some were better than others, and some so tender they practically could be cut with a fork. The "house special" really was special and I do recommend it.

the house special
(sorry, camera phone pic, doesn't do it justice)

We all agreed that probably our least favorite of the evening was the filet mignon, which should tell you something about the quality of the meats and how well they were cooked. Juicy and crispy all at once.

With all this meat, they also brought sides: polenta, fried bananas and mashed potatoes. The polenta was perfect. It was fried, and crispy on the outside while still being soft and creamy on the inside. Perfect for soaking up all the juices from the meats. The fried bananas were nice as well, having a creamy texture to cut the heaviness. We were not a mashed potato table...the only thing left untouched.

Amazingly, after all the food and beverages (yes, they do serve caipirinhas, and well made ones too), we found room for dessert. KS and I decided to try the strawberry cream, served with a black currant liqueur. RK got the papaya version. CH decided to be different and get the turtle cheesecake. So delicious. I'm so glad we went for it. The cream is like and ice cream, but more intense, and the liqueur on top added an amazing flavor. CH was quite pleased with his cheesecake as well. With the base prix-fixe (all you can eat), plus drinks and dessert, this is not a place I can afford very often. But it is well worth saving your pennies for the occasional visit.

On Sunday, CH and I were still full from dinner the night before, and just couldn't get ourselves going. We spent a good deal of time talking about things we could do, and then not moving. So instead we had a lazy day involving football, work, more football, more work, naps, more football, and yet more work, although neither one of us felt like we were very productive (my attention span was practically nil). And of course we had plenty of "help" from the dog. There were some rather important football games on TV such the meeting of the only two unbeaten teams, the Colts and the Patriots, and while I'm not a fan of either team (go Detroit!), wow what a good game. Now the Patriots are the only unbeaten team. It was a nice lazy Sunday. Complete with excellent company.